I happened to attend an ex’s wedding earlier this year. It was a grand event, which had this new gen wedding ‘ceremony’ wherein a mic is passed around and the friends may make a toast, or sing a song or make an insider joke that makes the newly married cringe. The mic reached my hand, and instinctively I took it near my mouth, trying to cache the lyrics of ‘Channa Mereya’, which is pretty much the default song to sing if you want to make the couple’s married life miserable. I paused, and thought ‘No Gogo, you’re a gentleman. Sing a good song,positive song’. Instinctively, the next song in the queue happened to be ‘Parayathe Ariyathe nee poyathalle’. There and then, I realised that I doesnt even deserve to spell gentleman, and said into the mic ‘Happy Married life, dears’.
Rewind to last year this time, while driving to office and channa mereya was playing in the radio. I playfully feigned hindi ignorance and translated ‘channa mereya’ as ‘an exotic preparation of channa which is similar to channa masala, but better’. The seniormost member of my council of ladies corrected me, and took the pain of translating the whole song to me. I decided to save singing Channa Mereya for a real gold situation.
Fast forward to the recent past, dear friend broke up and his ex is getting married. Being a common friend, I was invited to the wedding, and why would I say no to a big fat North Indian wedding with hot Chicks. I mean, hot and spicy Chicken. But karma in the form of a phone call from my best friend , made a request.
Sing channa mereya at the wedding reception.
I tried to explain the consequences, like I’ll get trashed by her brothers, I’ll ruin the wedding, or I’ll be jailed for trying to mimic a buffaloe imitating tarzan. And the response I got was along the lines of ‘Tu marr ja, magar channa mereya gaane ke baad’.
1. If you switch off the mic and act drunk, people will not take whatever you say (or sing) seriously.
2. The priority list of a single boy goes something like Ex > Lover > > [15 other classes] > that girl who sat next to you for entrance examination > Friend
3. There is only one true love in the world, love without ego, possesiveness, and lies. And that, is the love for Biriyani.